Salt Lake County Utah Real Estate

“It will make an immense difference with your faith and spirit whether you look upon civilization as a good thing which is becoming better or as a bad and evil thing which is decaying.  One viewpoint gives you a descending and decreasing mind.  One viewpoint will make you grow greater and the other will inevitably cause you to grow smaller.”

Wallace D. Wattles

I don’t have the chance to have my whole family together very much anymore.  But, I have them around me right now, for a brief time, and it has shown me that we have followed the natural order of life.  My wife and I began a new family when we got married and we were lucky enough to have children.  I say lucky for two reasons.

The first reason is that having children has pushed us way beyond our individual abilities and the second is that it has shown us a path to achieving greatness that we would otherwise have never seen.

Something almost magical happens when an individual chooses to be responsible for the care and nurturing of another person.  It completely changes a person by forcing them to look past their own needs by focusing on the needs of another.  To focus means to place another person at the center of attention. 

It is this shift of attention that is transforming.  It literally makes us into a new person.  I like to call this process, “the getting of new eyes.”  One sees the world in a new and different way; through the eyes of another.  It causes a person to see the world anew.  It opens the door to rediscovery and wonder.  It lets one see the “same old stuff” as something new and exciting.  It takes what has become mundane and routine and allows a new kind of joy enter the heart.  Perhaps more importantly it reveals the path of developing greatness.

This path is plain.  One must become great at doing small things or they will never be great at doing large things.  As a child takes her first steps we can see that she must take her fist steps before she can become a great runner, trekker or explorer.  One must learn to take care of herself before she can assist  others who may have missed a lesson or two in the art of living a great life.

The purpose of life is growth.  I hope you will embrace this purpose as your own and make the choice to focus on small things so you can become great at them.  As you do so, you will see that others will take note of your wisdom and will begin to come to you for counsel.  You will see that they will then ask you to perform larger and greater tasks.  When they do, make sure you do them in the same way as you performed the small tasks; the great way.  It is already within you.

“Don’t lend your service; give your service.”

- Justin Miller Cole

There were thousands of lights all around.  The air was cold so I was especially happy to have a daughter on each arm as we walked through the town square.  There were so many people.  Everywhere we turned there were faces; smiling faces.

Then, in an instant, I was face to face with one of the strangers.  Just before our noses were about to collide I saw the gleam of his smile and heard, “Merry Christmas!”

“Yes,” I thought.  “It’s still cold outside.  I can see the fog of my breath lofting up through the surrounding lights.  But, my heart is much warmer now.”  It was enjoyable to be with people who were not just trying to purchase a memorable holiday season.  They were giving a memorable holiday season from their heart.

My friend Justin Miller Cole once said, “Don’t lend your service; give your service.”

As soon as he said it, I tilted my head to the right and said, “That’s one of the most profound things I’ve ever heard!”

There is a difference between giving for the sole purpose of getting something in return and the act of giving a heart-felt gift.  There is a difference between giving because of a perceived obligation and giving freely from the heart.  The challenge for each one of us is to take a long, deep look into our heart and determine what our true motives are.

When we lend something we expect to get it back.  Giving a gift means we make an offering without any expectation; we have no desire to receive anything in return.  It is the most meaningful form of giving.  There is nothing more powerful than freedom of choice.

Freedom of choice also means freedom of external expectation.  A person who is truly free understands that all people are free to do as they will.  I learned this truth while sitting at the feet of a former prisoner of war.  He said, “My captors took everything from me; my clothes, food, friends, family, warmth, and communication, but they could never take my freedom to choose!  They could never take my will unless I chose to give it to them.”

A gift from the heart, given freely, is a powerful and wonderful tool.  I hope you’ll make a choice to be a giver from the heart.  The twinkling lights of this season and those who were admiring them with me reminded me of this. 

Never a lender be; give from your heart without expectation.  It will change your life as well as the world.

A pause on the other side of the earth

I was running late, as usual, on a Wednesday evening.  I needed to pick my daughter up from the downtown branch of Salt Lake Community College.  She was getting out of class early and had sent me a text message to let me know.  I was in my office on the phone with one of the banks I was working with for one of my Client’s.  I was feeling a little agitated because the negotiations were dragging on.  It seemed almost impossible to find the words I needed to make the person on the other end understand the point I was trying to make.

I was at my breaking point; almost ready to lose my temper.  So, I pulled myself back in and reminded myself that he was in another country on the other side of this planet.  All the information he had was in a small electronic file on his screen.  He knew nothing else.  It wasn’t his fault that the information was wrong.  I knew it was time to settle back into my core belief and work from there.

That’s all it took for the tone of the conversation to change.  The tension over the phone was released and we were able to have a new start and begin to make progress as soon as new, healing words escaped my lips.

“I really appreciate your kind efforts on my behalf.” I said.

There was a brief pause on the other side of the earth!

“Thank you sir;” was the reply.

“What do I need to do to make sure we’re working together so we can get the best result for both of us?” I continued.

From that moment on we were able to get over the barriers that were holding us back and we made the progress I had hoped for.  When we were about to end our conversation I said, “Thank you for your help.  I’m glad I was able to work with you.  I’ll remember you in my prayers.”

“Thank you again sir.  I hope to be able to talk with you again soon.”  Was his reply in quiet, heartfelt tones.

Now that I was finished with my phone call I sent a quick text to my daughter.  “On my way!”

I was still running late but, I was running on full knowing that I had done the good thing.  I always feel good when I receive additional evidence that operating from a position of love, because I want to, produces the best result.  Luckily, my daughter was operating from the same core belief when I picked her up.

“Sorry I’m late!” I said as she slid through the door of my car.

“That’s O.K.  I know you’re doing your best.

When you’re having a difficult day, stop for a moment and make sure you’re living from your core value of love; draw from its deep well within.  When you do, you’ll see circumstances change immediately and peace will enter your heart and the hearts of those around you.

“If you have just a little bit of hope left you can make great strides in your life.”

-Theo Fleury

I sat mesmerized as I listened to Theo recount his story.   He told me of how he had been hiding the tale of his being abused from more than twenty years and what a burden it had placed on his whole life.  He said, “Even though I had been successful player in the NHL I couldn’t bear to live with this secret.”  But, he was been able to change this through the use tools that are often overlooked in our society today.

He told me that just when he thought all was lost, that his life was over because he was going to end it, he called out in prayer.  As he did so he received a peaceful reassurance that if he would allow just a little bit of hope to radiate from his heart that he could regain his life and have happiness again.  With a desperate commitment to cling to this new particle hope he began to take small steps that would allow his hope to grow until his glimmer of hope became a fortress of faith.

Most of us can remember times when our faith and our hope seemed to have abandoned us.  I know I have had such times.  There have been many of us, who having faced such moments, have become broken and defeated.  And to anyone who is in such a position it will be helpful to know that at least one person has shown the rest of us the path to victory.  It is the path of hope, based upon the notion of human resilience.

Resilience is the ability to recover quickly from setbacks, the ability to spring back quickly into shape after being stretched.  Life is designed to stretch each one of us.  It is a learning ground.  We are not meant to glide through life without challenge and growth.  And here’s what I’ve learned through observation and living; through sailing along and as well as feeling like too little butter being spread over too much toast.

Personal resilience seems to be one of the great separators in life.  Those who keep showing up each day to face life’s challenges find success, peace and happiness.  In other words, if you can develop the trait of resilience in your life you will be well served.  You will understand that what happened yesterday is not what will happen today; the pieces of the puzzle that baffled you in your past will present themselves in the different light of today and tomorrow.  I call this the “Sun Cycle Principle.”

The sun rises each day and allows us to begin the morning with its rays of hope as we venture into living.  Some days will shine brightly and others will feel gloomy and hard.  But, each day, no matter what its course, comes to an apparent end with the setting of the sun.  Yet, there is no victory of darkness!  The sun rises in triumph again to usher in hope and a model of resilience to all who will receive it.  Let this be your symbol of hope and beacon of encouragement in times of challenge and you’ll always be living in the brightness of a well lived life.

“I looked around and saw that everything around me was made by people; bridges, houses, cars, everything.  Then I realized that the people who created all these things were no smarter than I was and my life was changed!”

Steve Jobs

When I was growing up I always believed that the adults around me had all the answers.  It seemed to me that they had to have all the answers because they were adults and were in charge.  So, I could hardly wait until I was all grown up so I would have all the answers too.  Then it happened, I woke up one day and discovered I was an adult.  But I also discovered something else as well.

I found that the challenges of my life didn’t end.  I didn’t magically have all the answers to life and the other adults around me didn’t have all the answers either.  They were just doing what I had been doing all along; they were making it up as they went along.  It was all quite disconcerting and I’ve spent the rest of my life living in a confused state; that is until this week when I heard this quote from Steve Jobs.

He said, “I looked around and saw that everything around me was made by people; bridges, houses, cars, everything.  Then I realized that the people who created all these things were no smarter than I was and my life was changed!”

There was a time in my life when I thought Steve Jobs was successful because he was lucky and I longed to have such luck.  But over the years I watched him have success after success and I soon realized that he had discovered something that I hadn’t!  Now I know that he most likely discovered many things that I haven’t and I feel lucky to now know one way that he viewed the world differently than me.

So now I’m going to stop my search for the adult that has all the answers and focus on refining my ability to do things I thought could only be accomplished by people that were smarter and more talented that I.  I know that doing this will propel me forward because Steve continued by saying, “Once you discover this it’s all down hill.”

Still, walking down hill takes effort and direction.  After all, if one never makes an effort to take the first step then there will be no movement, no success.   For me the hardest part is the first step but, what I’ve found is that when I take that step I can keep the momentum going and keep things moving along as I learn by doing.  And, when I need a little encouragement now I have a model to look toward; I can look at all the amazing creations of which Steve Jobs was a part of and I know that he followed the same process to amazing success and a life full of gifts given to humanity.  If you’ll do the same then we will be giving humanity the greatest gift available; the gift giving your best!

“I can start over and be the person I want to be every day.”

- Alan Bradshaw

It was late in the evening.  I was with my friend Alan Bradshaw in his projection room; he owns the Motor Vu Drive-in not far from my house.  Alan was in the process of transferring a movie from the projector back to the reels so it could be shipped to the film distributor; we had just finished our annual neighborhood trunk or treat.  He is kind enough to donate the use of his theater each year for our annual community Halloween celebration where we gather for a barbeque, movie and candy exchange.  It’s a chance for the whole community to come together and enjoy each other’s company. 

At the end of this evening one of our neighbors walked up to me and said, “This is our most favorite tradition.  We have built so many wonderful memories with our family and friends here.”  She’s right; I’ll never forget what Alan taught me as I watched the film spinning to four different reels.

“I really like this movie,” he said.  “I liked the first one too.  I think they have a good message.  In fact, there is a quote from the first movie that changed my life.”

I can’t tell you the exact quote because it was late at night and I didn’t write it down, but it was something like; you can’t change what happened yesterday and you don’t know what will happen in the future, but you can be who you want to be every day.

“I used to spend all my time working.” Alan said.  “One day I saw that I was letting my life pass by.  It seemed as if it happened over night.  Then I heard that quote and I knew I could wake up each day and be the person I wanted to be.  I could change.  I could life a full and happy life.”

I stood not far from him as I listened and watched.  I could hear the whirring sound of the film as it seemingly flung from the projector onto the shipping reels.  With the exception of that noise and the sound of Alan’s voice it was quiet and the light was dim.  But, Alan’s smile was bright and his voice was as light as a dancing waterfall to my ears.

His message is still trickling through my ears.  “I can be who ever I want to be and start anew each day.”  I can still see the twinkle of his eyes, bright with hope and confidence, enlightening my mind.  The two intertwined memories combine to convince me that you and I can make a difference in our own lives and in the lives of others if we simply make the choice to do so.  I’m so glad that Alan decided to make a difference in my life.  You and I can do the same!